True Faith

Before, I always tell myself, "GOD I TRUST YOU"  with matching tears falling down my face and having a feeling of thorn taken from my heart, I feel like an ultimate renewed christian... But when things get rough and everything goes tough, I ask HIM:  "WHY LORD?!  WHY ME?"  "WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN?".. "WHY WHY WHY!"  This time, tears flowing like a river and having a feeling of heaven and hell fell towards me.  I feel like God has forsaken me, I feel like, fate is playing against me.  That just as when you tell HIM you trust HIM, bad things happen.

Then I realized.. I'm trusting HIM wrongly.  

Now, I think that when we say we trust HIM, we should never ask HIM WHY.  When we say "LORD I TRUST YOU", It must mean that we are very confident that we trust HIS plans for us.  That all those things that come our way are part of HIS perfect plan for us.  

Yes, some of the "ticks" that HE give are very tough, that we sometimes feel like back sliding.  But we shouldn't!  We mustn't!  We must remain steadfast in our words that we trust HIM.  Because HIS word is steadfast. HIS words are certain.  We just have to be still, and let HIM guide us through everything, that we may enjoy the perfect life that HE planned for us from the beginning.

I remember once before my marriage broke down, in my prayer I said: "Lord I trust you, please don't give me the burden I won't be able to carry (which at that point is deception of my ex)."  I thought that time, that was the most difficult trial that I won't be able to surpass.  But just as when I said, I trust HIM that HE won't give that trial to me... IT HAPPENED.  And believe me, It tore every bit of my personality.   All that I hoped for, all that I dreamed of just collapsed like the twin towers of NY.  I asked HIM... WHY?  I have been a good christian, I have been a good wife, I have been a good daughter.  WHY does it have to happen?  "I told YOU not to give this cup to me, but YOU still did"

With the help of my family, friends, even bosses who never left my side during that ordeal, I remained faithful to HIM.  There are times that I feel like rebelling, having revenge.  But there is a tiny voice in me saying... "BE STILL.  TRUST ME."  And I did.

Now, Its been three years since that unfortunate event happened in my life, I see God's point.  I see God's reasoning.  Like HE is telling me from the start.. "Child, you can surpass every trial, as long as you remain faithful in me."  HE proved to me that I can do all things through HIM who strengthens me.  That all I need to do, is to TRUST HIM COMPLETELY.  Never asking him WHY, never questioning HIS ways.  Just pure TRUST.

I realized that TRUE FAITH means putting our 100% TRUST in the LORD, that all things that happens and will happen is according to HIS perfect plan.  HIS perfect plan for us to be perfect like Christ, perfect christians worthy of HIS perfect kingdom.