Revelations

Indonesia, the place where it all started.

Frankly speaking, I believed in the old Filipino saying “kung saan ka nadapa, doon ka bumangon.”  I believed that God allowed everything to happen in my life for a reason.  And I don’t have the courage to ask HIM why…  I just said that maybe, just maybe something better is ahead of me.

It made me stronger for one.  I mean, not all people who suffered from violence and betrayal could survive it the way I did.  So I’m thankful that I’m over the pains now.  I realized that there’s more to be thankful of than to be angry of.  I now have the TWO most precious ANGELS in the world with me:  Eunice and Euna; I have a supportive family; I knew who my friends really are; I realized that many people shares my pains; and I have an Angel who never cease to make me realize how wonderful life is ahead of me.

I’m praying so hard for my annulment to take place.  I know, its my last option, but I’m still doing it anyway, to completely rid of all the what ifs’ and the what nots’ things.

I am happy now.  Though there are times that I still cry at night or wonder if I hadn’t been here would any of these ever happened.  But I may say, I am happy now.  I have accepted everything with all my heart, I have surrendered everything to HIM and let HIM take charge of my life.

I am now brave enough to see myself 20 years in the future, happy, and contented with the decision that I made to let him be with her, and I to be with my kids… I now have the courage to face reality that I am once again Miss Racquel B. Artiola, only with the connotation: “the proud mom of Eunice and Euna”.  After all… who would never find the courage to move on, if you have two beautiful angels who completes you, right?

I am a lamb no more.  I am no longer a sheep who cries whenever she’s lost, or whenever the fox is near threatening her life.  I am now a Lioness in a lamb’s body, trying to be brave should there be someone who will try to harm me.  I am now a Lioness who is responsible for her cubs and her pack.  After all, I am living in a jungle full of hyenas waiting for me to loosen up my guard.  But I am a lioness, ever focused, ever tactful, ever courageous and ever victorious!