April pains...

One of the days when I break down and cry, is when APRIL comes.

WHY?  Because this month is the month my daughters would celebrate their birthdays.

And this is another year that I won't be able to kiss and hug them on their special day...  

I know my daughters are smart enough to understand my absence, and my family is responsible enough to remind both of them the reason of my being here.  BUT there is this PAIN that will never go away.  The pain that some people wouldn't understand why up to this time, I still can't get over the fact that I am here in INDONESIA and they are back in the PHILIPPINES.

YES there are technologies that would help me be with them over the internet, I would see them smile, here them sing, but I can't smell them, hug them, kiss them, nor touch them.  And those are the most important things that a mother can do to their daughters and children can do to their parents.  Every kiss, and Every touch provides them with extra love and extra confidence that they are loved.  Everytime we hug them or kiss them, their hormones are being activated to raise their well being and immunity defenses against dieseases, they can also think better and be at their best when those hormones are high.  And for us parents, those moments provide us with extra strength and courage to fight what we believe in, to focus on what matters most for them, to give us happiness no one can ever give.

For me, their kisses and hugs are better than Popeye's spinach, more powerful than any spell Dumbledore can cast.  Their hugs and kisses are my life, my happiness, my shield, my strength.

But I believe that God will not let me be apart from them longer than what I am now.  God will hear my pleas and give me the grace for them to be with me, wherever I am, wherever I will go.

EUNICE...  EUNA... Mommy will be home soon, and when I do, we will celebrate your birthdays together everyday!!!

I LOVE YOU both!