I was tasked to do an unbelievable task: organize the celebration of the Indonesian Independence, Prefects' Investiture, Awarding of the certificates for primary and secondary students and prepare traditional games for the students.
WHOA! That was the first thing that came into my mind. I thought, is it possible? Can I do that?
The preparation is tedious. The task is arduous. And I was thinking that the participation from my colleagues wouldn't turn out 100% because some are busy with the musical as well.
I was sick to my stomach to the sight of a chaotic event because of mismanagement and lack of preparation and coordination. I am ready to accept that the event would be a mess because it is too much for students' limited time capacity for behaving, and it is too much for me to handle.
With so many tasks already assigned to me being the prefect mistress, Prefects' Cup every friday, Science-Robotic Club coordinator, a collaboration project with a Singapore-based school about water purification, planning all school events, being in the school committee, form teacher of P5 and having 36 periods a week class with 4 sessions of remedial classes, I was thinking really hard if I really can do this.
I literally cried on the first day of the preparation because there are so many things that I need to attend to and I do not know how will I stretch my 8 hr regular work to accomplish all. I was thinking that I would compromise my "me" time more than I have compromised since I came back from the holiday.
Then I read about this passage in the Bible in Luke 12:48 New International Version (NIV)
48 But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.
I reflected on the passage, and I was so ashamed of my self for thinking that I cannot do the task given to me. God was telling me that He knows I can do this because He knows me. He knows the talents He gave to me that is why He knows I can accomplish the tasks. He is telling me that help will be given when I need it, where I need it, If I will ask it.
So I calmed... but only for a while, because just as the event is getting nearer, so are the trials getting harder. A teacher is absent and I had to attend her class, such as the time that I should be using for the preparation of the event and some other personal work is "wasted" to a work that is not supposed to be mine. I took it so negatively that even if I know its just a trial, I succumb to my human emotions of anger.
A week before the event, teachers' tasks are dissiminated. A teacher volunteered his students to help in the games since his kids are not going to be busy. WHEW! But just as expected, some will not do their part "with love" because they think that is "just an extra job" for them. I took it soooooooooooo negatively that I succumb once again to my human emotion of impatience.
On the eve of the event, the greatest blow ever... We forgot about the chinese awards so the chinese department just hand in their "chinese written" certificates an hour before I was supposed to go home and rest.
My jaw dropped. Not of astonishment but out of frustration... "HOW IN THE WORLD WILL I KNOW WHAT AWARD THE STUDENTS GET BECAUSE THEY ARE WRITTEN IN CHINESE???!!!" So I succumb for the last time to my human emotion of desperation. I was near my boiling point.
I looked around and saw some other colleagues who are still around that time. Though I know that they will be angry for the help that i was going to ask of them, I humbled then asked them anyways. And they did. WE RE-SORTED EVERYTHING from scratch. And a chinese teacher was still there and helped labelled the awards into Bronze, Silver and Gold!
What a relief!! What a help!
I couldn't eat. I can't feel hunger. My mind is racing as to what will happen the next day. So I went into my room, knelt down and pray my heart out to God and surrendered all to Him. I told Him that we all did what we can. Everyone did their share and that I surrender everything to Him.
D-Day comes and to all our astonishment... The seemingly chaotic event turned out to be a success! Well, not to my expectations but It still turned out to be quite ok considering that the event is from 7.30 to 12.00. We managed to get a hold of the students, parents came in for their kids, students including the prefects performance did great. We manage to do everything according to plan.
In this journey, God showed me that we need to trust everyone in the group that they will do what is assigned to them according to their own pace. We cannot expect people to work like we do because they are different from us. He also showed me that when a task is done with great love, everything will turn out right. He taught me patience and responsibility that we are responsible to our task and that its success or failure will be on us too so either way we should do our best and never give up. He taught me humility. I was a proud woman that I don't ask help to people around me in turn making me stressed because I am doing more than what I can handle. I learned to humble my self and seek help when I need it. And the most important lesson that God showed me in this journey is that when we seek His kingdom first, all the things we pray for will be showered unto us. No matter how busy I am, no matter how I tired I am, I make it a point to start the day with HIM and end the day with HIM. Like telling HIM that I cannot live a day without HIM, that I am completely dependent on HIS grace.
"Apart from HIM we can't do anything, we are nothing. But with HIM we can do everything!"
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