Tailor's Rule.

I have been guilty of one of most common mistakes a man can ever do:  Speaking out of emotions, and the feeling of regret in the end.

A lot of people can agree with me that people most of the time do not think twice before they speak.  They give in to their emotions that they do not realize the outcome of their words.  They speak and speak and speak without them noticing how rude their words have gone, or how much pain they have inflicted to other people.

But why is it really too hard to hold our tongues whenever we are angry?  Why is it too hard to keep our mouth shut and keep our minds open whenever we we feel we are threatened/

The answer is, it is our human nature to defend ourselves.  It is one of the instincts that our "being with the world" taught us.  It is human nature to defend themselves whenever they are faced with criticisms or accusations.  Instead of listening and being rational about the criticisms, people tend to defend their "honor".  So it all ends up in a word fight which no one ever wins.  It all ends up in both parties are hurt by a series of words thrown to each other that penetrates the soul and sticks to the mind.  The worst part is, this could ruin a relationship.  This could even ruin lives and confidence and all the goodness in everything.

How do we correct this?  people should follow one simple rule:  the tailor's rule.  Measure twice, cut only once.  Let us think twice before we speak.  Let us learn to hold our tongues, close our mouths and open our minds.  For all we know, we really are doing something wrong that we don't see for ourselves.  We need to be open to criticisms and look at every comment to us as positive, a way to improve ourselves.  All criticisms, good are bad are not meant to destroy us, they are meant to make us better, wiser and stronger if we stay positive and if we just learn to control our mouths and open our minds.

If we follow the tailor's rule, we won't be making mistakes, we won't be wasting our time and efforts over a petty fight, and we won't be ruining relationships.  Let us remember that words are far greater to inflict pain than physical pains.  Why?  Physical injuries heal fast, but the injury caused by hurtful words can last a lifetime.

The BIBLE also tells us in James 1:19 "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,"  It only means that we really ought to practice holding our tongues before we release words out of our mouths.  Learning how to practice the tailor's rule will do us better things than none.  Remember, measure twice, cut once and we will go a long way.

A year of being a school principal

While I was delivering my welcome remarks during the school's foundation day.

I was really very excited the first time I read the email that I got the position of being a school principal.  My heart was really filled with joy that finally I was able to get a job before I leave my work as a Secondary Science teacher in an International School in Indonesia.  I didn't really spoke of the good news to anyone else yet not until the very last minute that I have to leave.

June 21, 2013.  My first day to report at the school were I will work.  I arrived there around 10.15 in the morning, early for my call time of 11 am.  I didn't know what to feel, I was having mix emotions asking myself did I do the right thing of moving back to the Philippines to work in a very far place or not and a feeling of how will they accept me.

I saw the guard, he told me "yes ma'am what do you need?"  I told him "I'm Ms. Racquel, your new principal." he immediately opened the gate for me.  I saw a homey atmosphere, slowly, I felt like I did the right thing.  I met Mr. John Proctor, the acting principal at the time.  He was so elated upon seeing me which puzzled me.  He gave me a quick tour of the school.  There I saw students looking at me as I pass by their classrooms.  Then he took me to his office and had me sign my contract.  I couldn't question him though there were questions I'd like to ask, I was too pre-occupied by the idea that I am now a school principal.

I was enjoying my initial time as a school principal, I enjoyed the admiration from the students and the parents that I am a very young principal.  In my country, everyone is used to having an old, old-fashioned looking principal.  I am an exception.  I'm young and fashionable.  At least that is what people  told me.

Days go bye and the position finally sink in, not to mention the piling of work load.  I have unearthed too many long time illness of the school system:  disorganisation, poor service quality, and a lot more!  I was overwhelmed to the point that I got so short tempered that jeopardised my relationship with my subordinates.

I also had different low moments specially from parents who think they own the school and that they  have all the right to control school management.  This is the worst part of the illness of the school where I am working.  Every parent is a school principal!

Then after a year of being a principal, I reliased that this is not the one I want to do for the rest of my life.  This work is not what will make me happy.  I missed teaching.  being with students is what really makes me happy.  Teaching is what really empowers me as a person and as an educator.

When the school year ended, I took a day out for the very first time and pondered on what transpired for the year.  I reliased that being a principal is just a prestige that I enjoyed for a moment.  I reliased, that being a teacher is what will give me joy for a lifetime.

What is in a prom?

What is a prom?  Is it just a regular social event?  Is it just a regular school function that students have to attend?  Or is it something else?

In layman’s term, a promenade is a formal dance; a ball.  For your parents, prom night is just a dinner followed by a dance at school. For you, a prom is where you get to wear something formal, a night where you can flaunt your formal side.  For some, it is where they get to wear their first ever night dress or a formal suit.  For others, it is a night where they get to experience their first dance, it is where they get to meet their first love or experience their first heartbreak. But in the eyes of a visionary, a prom is something else.  A prom is a rite of passage; it is an event that no high school student should fail to experience.  It is where dreams of becoming somebody someday begin.

What is in our prom’s theme: red carpet night?  I did not choose the theme because of its glamour, its flamboyance, or its eccentricity.  I chose the red carpet night as a theme for each and every one of you to feel that for me, all of you are a star; stars in your rights worthy to be treated with class and with honor.  For me all of you are the starts that I look up to each night.  You are the stars that I aspire to reach out and hold in my hands.  I chose the theme because I want all of you to feel how it is to be a star so that when you finally able to feel the red carpet, you would aspire to dream bigger than what your dreams are at the moment.  I chose the theme in the hope that one day; you would once again walk on a red carpet with your dreams finally fulfilled.

The red carpet is a symbol of a successful journey, the symbol of triumph. However let us not forget the one true source of our victory, our Lord God almighty. Let us acknowledge him in our every step for it is written “for the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.” (Ps. 1:6). Tonight, as you walk on the red carpet, begin your first step towards the realization of your dreams.  Juniors and seniors! Look up and claim your victories, for tonight, you are the stars blessed by the shiniest star in the universe.

I AM CRAZY!

When I went home from Indonesia and finally decided to stay here for good, peoples' initial reaction to me is:  "ARE YOU CRAZY?!"

They couldn't believe that I will leave my bread and butter, Indonesia, for good.  Sometimes, they would ask, "What will you do in Philippines?"  or "Where will you work?"  or they will tell me: "You are going to have a small income there (Philippines) compared to indonesia."

Actually, before I leave my work in Indonesia, I had a very long moment of reflection and prayer before I finally decided to stay here for good.  I considered my students that I love so much, I couldn't just leave them like that.  I couldn't leave my dream to be a prime mover in my school.  Lastly, I couldn't leave the financial compensation which helped me and my family for the last five years.

Then, I came to realise that it is time for me to go back home when I wasn't able to reach my goal after staying there for five years, for reasons I wouldn't want to elaborate further because I do not wish to undermine some of my colleagues that I have learned to love.  But God showed me that I wasn't really meant to stay there longer.  That my place is not there to lead but here in our own country.

So why did I leave?

I left because I have come to realise that It is time for me to be with my daughters.  It is the right time for me to be their mother now that my older daughter is at the critical stage of teenagehood.  I want to be the source of her strength when she experience her first heartache.  i want to be the source of her determination when she experience difficult times in studies.  i want to be the source of her knowledge to discern what is good and what is right; what is virtuous and what is not.  I want to be her source of companion when she feels left alone by her friends especially when she stands for what she believes in.  And if you think that I am crazy for staying here for that reasopn, then I AM CRAZY!

I left because my younger daughter needs me more than ever.  I never really had time to express how much I love her because I left the country since she was 1.5 years old.  I never really had time to teach her how to write or read because she was still being bottle fed when I left home.  I never really had that precious time to hug her whenever she is hurt from playing or in pain when sick.  I left because I wanted to be not just a mother to her, I left Indonesia because I want to be a teacher and a playmate to her.  I want to hear her stories when she come home from school.  I want to be the one to dry her tears when she gets hurt.  I want to laugh at her jokes because believe me she has lots of them.  I want to hear her chuckles, I want to see her expressive eyes.  I want to look forward to bringing her presents whenever I get home from work, and man, oh man!  her expressions are precious that comes with buttlerfly kisses!  So if you think I am crazy for coming home, then yes!  I AM CRAZY!

I left because I know I can contribute a little in the education system.  Even the contributions will just be in my humble school in pulilan, I know people will realise that CHANGE in the education system is possible becuae a humble school principal from the town of Obando dared TO BE THE CHANGE.

I wanted to take home to the Philippines all the educational strategies that I know will elevate the quality of teaching and learning process here in our country.  I wanted to share all the things that I have learned, to my countrymen that I know will not only benefit the teachers, but the students as well and with GOD's help, our country too!  So, if you think I am crazy for coming home, then yes IAM CRAZY!

I left because I know I needed to focus now on being a CHRISTIAN more than ever.  I wanted to practice my faith and share the LIGHT to my fellow teachers and wanted to believe that if I won't give up, the teachers in my school will live a life full of love for the students and not to live a life of love for the money.  I wanted to show them that living by the WORD of GOD is an essential element to being a good teacher.  And if you think that is crazy because it is difficult to do, then I AM CRAZY!

You may wish to call me foolish, crazy or out of my mind I will accept them all because my love for my kids, my love for my country and my love for the LORD is crazily overflowing and that I may be crazy to believe but I know it will pay back someday.  I believe that one day, through my humble efforts together with some other teachers and principals in our country who still have genuine love for our country, our country will regain its previous glory, will regain its honor to be once again be one of the best, richest and righteous country in the world!  and if you think i am crazy to believe that it will happen, then I AM CRAZY!

A school principal's message

Today is the start of the new academic year in the Philippines and I am so blessed to be a part of a new community where I will be working as their school principal.  Isn't it amazing how God blesses me with a work while I am still here in Indonesia working as a Science teacher.

And eventhough I am still here, I know what difference it will make to school teachers to be given an encouraging message by their principal to their kick start day... I know because I have been a teacher and I always look forward to be given a "blessing" by my principal.

Therefore, I made a letter to my "entire staff" for their start of their new endeavor.  I want them to feel that I am with them even not physically, and I am with them in prayers and in spirit.  I am hoping that this message will inspire them to continue molding young minds to be the kind of person they wanted to be.

Here is the message.

Dear ALL,

May the peace of God be with you!

On Monday, we will start a new voyage, a voyage that will bring her passengers safely to the other side of their journey.  The voyage that we chose is to help the students reach their primary goal in life:  to acquire as much knowledge and skills as they can for their future.

Every one of us is a part of this voyage; we are all crew members, ADP is our ship and the students are our passengers.  And like in all voyages, we all have different tasks to make the ship move, but just like in all ships we all have one main goal:  to bring our passengers safe to their destination.

We may experience rough journey, it is normal; but the journey never ends there.  We must keep rowing.  We may get tired once in a while, it is normal; but our role never stops there.  Rest, and then keep rowing after regaining your strength.  Remember that our goal is not to row for our own, we row for the passengers, our students. 

You are all here in ADP because you have the qualities that ADP envisions for.  And we are all in the academe because God chose us to.  Therefore, it is but right that we all work for the ONE who made everything possible in our lives. (Colossians 3:23)”Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”  When we work for HIM, we will never get tired; when we work for the students, we will always be satisfied.  Our rewards may not be as prestigious as what other professions have, but our rewards lie within the success of every student who has reached their goal, to those who have realized their purpose, and those who have continued the legacy of selfless service.

As our ship sets sail on Monday, I pray that the Lord bless you with the W-A-R-M-T-H of a teacher:   Wisdom to teach not only what they need at school but also what they need in life, Active body to be physically present for the students, Respect to realize ones’ mistakes and to make amends of what needs to be corrected, Motivation to be an instrument for the students to realize their purpose in life, Tact to speak kind and constructive words not only to your fellow workers but more so to the students, Holistic personality  to teach the students by example and not just by words.

Ignite the WARMTH in your hearts as the educators of ADP.  Let us start our voyage with GOD as the center of our goal because it is only HE who will set the course of our journey.

Godspeed and see you all on the 20^th of June.

Sincerely,

RACQUEL ARTIOLA-AÑADA

Principal, ADP

I hope that even if you are not my "teaching staff" but a teacher or working in a school, you would also be inspired and know that you are not alone in your pursuit to helping your passenger get tho his destination.

The Parable of the Ten Scouts

Once there was a scout master who took ten boy scouts on a camping trip to test their ability to follow a map.  He told the ten scouts, "I will give each of you a map, one different from the others but all has the same destination.  If you are able to reach the destination, I will take you to the most beautiful camp site ever."

One of the scouts asked the master, " Is there a time limit, master"?  The master replied, "No. there is no time limit.  I will go first and wait to the destination, after two hours, all of you can start your own journey."

One of the scouts had a "smart" plan, and went immediately when the master went out of their sight.  He spoke to the nine scouts, "I'm going to follow the master's tracks immediately so that I won't get lost."  But the master was fast as he knew the forest very well.  So the first scout got lost and didn't reach his destination.

The second scout to the last scout followed the master's orders to start after two hours and went on their own journeys.  After 10 hours only one scout was able to reach the destination:  the master's own house!

The master welcomed the scout and gather the rest of the scouts around him.  The last scout in all embarassment spoke to the master, "Master, I am sorry for taking too long to reach the destination."  The master replied to the scout and said, "No, son, you did well, for that I will take you the most beautiful camp site ever."

Then the master asked the nine scouts what went wrong.  The first scout said "Master, I did not follow your order to start the journey after two hours, I started immediately because I thought that if I followed you as soon as you leave, I will not get lost even if I don't look at the map.

The second scout said that he went to the spot where he couldn't find the clue to the next trail so he decided to trust his own instinct and went on.  He got lost in the process.

The third scout said that he couldn't really understand the writing on the clue and told himself that the master must have really meant for me not to reach the destination because he wrote something he couldn't understand, he got disheartened and went back to the camp site.

The fourth and the fifth scout said that they got hurt by the thorns on the bushes as they try to get past through them.  They couldn't bear the pain so they decided to go back.

The sixth and the seventh scout got lost in the trails when they saw a man who told them that he can get them past through the trails if they give them their maps.  They trusted the man, thinking that he was sent by the master to help them and gave them their maps, but the man ran away and left them in the woods.

The eighth and ninth scout said that they decided to stop their journey because the trail was becoming more difficult each passing step.  They said that the trails were so dangerous that the map said jump over the cliff, they didn't trust the master enough to jump over because they thought that the cliff will bring them to their death.

After hearing the nine scouts, the master asked the tenth scout to tell how was he able to find the destination. The scout said, "Master, your map was so tricky and difficult to understand.  There was a spot where I couldn't find the clue so I told myself, the master wouldn't get me lost, so I decided to dig and found the clue.  There was a spot where the clue was nonsense, it took me a long time to think when I realised it was written upside down.  Then there was a spot where the trail was so dangerous that I thought that I can die, but as I read through the clue you wrote, it says TRUST me and I did.  So i jump over only to find out that the cliff was just knee deep.  Then there was a trail where it was so hard to get past through because of the thorns on the bushes, I almost gave up because the thorns stung as they pieced through my skin, but I said I won't give up and continued until at last I got past through the stinging bushes.

I also met the man who told me that he can get me past through the trails if I give him my map.  I looked at the map and saw that I was still a long way before I reach the destination and that I really like to win the prize of being able to see the most beautiful camp site ever.  I almost gave in to his offer but I told the man that I won't be worthy of the prize if I accept his help so I told him that I won't accept his offer and went on.

Then I realised that the trails were leading to your house because I remembered your story that when you were young, your father made you a map from the camp trip back to your house.  I realised that the trails may be similar to the map your father gave you before, so I persevered and told myself that you found your way back and finished the trail by yourself so I can as well.

The master was very pleased to the last scout and brought him to the most beautiful camp site ever while the others watch in regret.

The mother I will never be

I must admit, I am one of the few whose not close with their moms.  I grew up with my dad, and with my siblings, and with other people.  I was actually a product of "look after her for now coz I'm busy" scenario.

People say like mother like daughter... Not even close between me and my mom.  Though we almost have the same date of birth and we have the same birthmark at the same place of our bodies; we are opposite in so many ways.

I will not say, I am not thankful to her.  I do!  I know I owe her a lot of things including my exsistence in this world.  In fact, I am so thankful to her that I know what kind of mother will I be when I become a mother.

She worked overseas, a beautician so to speak.  So whenever she is home or should I say whenever she is in the country, she would spend most of her time going out with her friends, whoever they are.  She'd go out while I was still sleeping and come home when I'm already asleep.  I never really felt that she is "home".

That is why, whenever I am 'home'.  I make sure that I will stay at home for my kids.  As much as I can, I will stay at home with them so that they will not feel what I felt when my mom was the one working overseas.  I want them to feel my presence all the time.  So, I thank her for showing me that I should stay home whenever I am on vacation.

She was very stubborn.  She smoked and eat all the food that she is not supposed to eat.  She usually say "I'd rather die doing what I want than not doing anything at all" or "In heaven there is no cigarette." Because of that, she had aneurysm and is now half paralysed.

So I thank her for showing me the value of clean living, for teaching me to be disciplined and to take everything in moderation.  I thank her that I know the danger of smoking and being stubborn about food and for living a worldly life.

She taught me not to ask for anything but to work hard when you want something.

I was grade 6 at that time, and she was 'home'.  I was about to go to school when I reminded her that I need Php 15.00 for my project.  She got angry for a reason I do not know and throw her half giant clam ash tray at me.  I was shocked!  It hit me on my left leg and came to school with a bleeding leg and an injured heart.  Right then, I told myself, I will never ask something when I need something.  Because of that incident, I learned to be independent.

So I thank her for teaching me to be independent and to provide well for my kids.  I told myself that when I am a mother, I will give everything that my kids need at school.  I will make sure that they will not go to school with a crushed heart because their mother got angry for asking money for a project.

I once had a 'barbie doll'... She got me one when she sent a package.  I was so happy because during that time, barbie doll was so popular.  I was the only one in the neighborhood who had one.  She came home and her godchild visited her, saw me playing with my doll and told her... "Ninang, I also want a barbie doll."  Her next action broke me into pieces:  She approached me and said, give your barbie doll to her, I'd just buy you a new one.  I obeyed, but I cried because I know that new barbie doll wouldn't come... and I was right.

I knew at that time that when I'm a mother, I will not do that to my kids.  I will not give to others what has been given to them.  I will not give them false hopes that they are special, for they will be the most special people in the world for me.  I will not crush their hearts just to prove something to  others.

She has a favorite child.  I know, because I an not that one.  Her favorite always has her best:  best attention, best gifts all the best of everything.  She never let her favorite child experience difficulties, she did everything and gave everything to her favorite child on the expense of others.  She never cared whether her least favorite child would suffer and experience hardships, all she cared for is that she must give everything her favorite child's needs.

Because of that, I learned not to favor one from the other.  I will remain impartial unless I prove one correct. I will teach my kids how to work hard on their own, to finish school so they'd not depend on the other for their personal needs.  I will never make the other have anything she wants on the expense of her other sister.

In every situation, our GOD favors us us.  They give us exactly what we need, even if we think that our moms are way too awful. They may not be the kind of mothers we want to have in our lives, but the fact that GOD gave them to us, means that there is something in her that we can learn from.  It will just be up to us whether we will take it as an inspiration to make our lives better in the future or a desperation to think for all eternity that we are not loved, that our lives are doomed.

I now know that GOD indeed love me so much that HE gave me my mother to learn everything that I need to learn to become the mother that I want to be.  The kind of mother that my kids will look up to, that my students would get inspiration from.

I will not say that she never taught me anything right.  In fact, she taught me everything that I need to know by being the kind of mother that I will never be.