I AM CRAZY!

When I went home from Indonesia and finally decided to stay here for good, peoples' initial reaction to me is:  "ARE YOU CRAZY?!"

They couldn't believe that I will leave my bread and butter, Indonesia, for good.  Sometimes, they would ask, "What will you do in Philippines?"  or "Where will you work?"  or they will tell me: "You are going to have a small income there (Philippines) compared to indonesia."

Actually, before I leave my work in Indonesia, I had a very long moment of reflection and prayer before I finally decided to stay here for good.  I considered my students that I love so much, I couldn't just leave them like that.  I couldn't leave my dream to be a prime mover in my school.  Lastly, I couldn't leave the financial compensation which helped me and my family for the last five years.

Then, I came to realise that it is time for me to go back home when I wasn't able to reach my goal after staying there for five years, for reasons I wouldn't want to elaborate further because I do not wish to undermine some of my colleagues that I have learned to love.  But God showed me that I wasn't really meant to stay there longer.  That my place is not there to lead but here in our own country.

So why did I leave?

I left because I have come to realise that It is time for me to be with my daughters.  It is the right time for me to be their mother now that my older daughter is at the critical stage of teenagehood.  I want to be the source of her strength when she experience her first heartache.  i want to be the source of her determination when she experience difficult times in studies.  i want to be the source of her knowledge to discern what is good and what is right; what is virtuous and what is not.  I want to be her source of companion when she feels left alone by her friends especially when she stands for what she believes in.  And if you think that I am crazy for staying here for that reasopn, then I AM CRAZY!

I left because my younger daughter needs me more than ever.  I never really had time to express how much I love her because I left the country since she was 1.5 years old.  I never really had time to teach her how to write or read because she was still being bottle fed when I left home.  I never really had that precious time to hug her whenever she is hurt from playing or in pain when sick.  I left because I wanted to be not just a mother to her, I left Indonesia because I want to be a teacher and a playmate to her.  I want to hear her stories when she come home from school.  I want to be the one to dry her tears when she gets hurt.  I want to laugh at her jokes because believe me she has lots of them.  I want to hear her chuckles, I want to see her expressive eyes.  I want to look forward to bringing her presents whenever I get home from work, and man, oh man!  her expressions are precious that comes with buttlerfly kisses!  So if you think I am crazy for coming home, then yes!  I AM CRAZY!

I left because I know I can contribute a little in the education system.  Even the contributions will just be in my humble school in pulilan, I know people will realise that CHANGE in the education system is possible becuae a humble school principal from the town of Obando dared TO BE THE CHANGE.

I wanted to take home to the Philippines all the educational strategies that I know will elevate the quality of teaching and learning process here in our country.  I wanted to share all the things that I have learned, to my countrymen that I know will not only benefit the teachers, but the students as well and with GOD's help, our country too!  So, if you think I am crazy for coming home, then yes IAM CRAZY!

I left because I know I needed to focus now on being a CHRISTIAN more than ever.  I wanted to practice my faith and share the LIGHT to my fellow teachers and wanted to believe that if I won't give up, the teachers in my school will live a life full of love for the students and not to live a life of love for the money.  I wanted to show them that living by the WORD of GOD is an essential element to being a good teacher.  And if you think that is crazy because it is difficult to do, then I AM CRAZY!

You may wish to call me foolish, crazy or out of my mind I will accept them all because my love for my kids, my love for my country and my love for the LORD is crazily overflowing and that I may be crazy to believe but I know it will pay back someday.  I believe that one day, through my humble efforts together with some other teachers and principals in our country who still have genuine love for our country, our country will regain its previous glory, will regain its honor to be once again be one of the best, richest and righteous country in the world!  and if you think i am crazy to believe that it will happen, then I AM CRAZY!