The Parable of the Ten Scouts

Once there was a scout master who took ten boy scouts on a camping trip to test their ability to follow a map.  He told the ten scouts, "I will give each of you a map, one different from the others but all has the same destination.  If you are able to reach the destination, I will take you to the most beautiful camp site ever."

One of the scouts asked the master, " Is there a time limit, master"?  The master replied, "No. there is no time limit.  I will go first and wait to the destination, after two hours, all of you can start your own journey."

One of the scouts had a "smart" plan, and went immediately when the master went out of their sight.  He spoke to the nine scouts, "I'm going to follow the master's tracks immediately so that I won't get lost."  But the master was fast as he knew the forest very well.  So the first scout got lost and didn't reach his destination.

The second scout to the last scout followed the master's orders to start after two hours and went on their own journeys.  After 10 hours only one scout was able to reach the destination:  the master's own house!

The master welcomed the scout and gather the rest of the scouts around him.  The last scout in all embarassment spoke to the master, "Master, I am sorry for taking too long to reach the destination."  The master replied to the scout and said, "No, son, you did well, for that I will take you the most beautiful camp site ever."

Then the master asked the nine scouts what went wrong.  The first scout said "Master, I did not follow your order to start the journey after two hours, I started immediately because I thought that if I followed you as soon as you leave, I will not get lost even if I don't look at the map.

The second scout said that he went to the spot where he couldn't find the clue to the next trail so he decided to trust his own instinct and went on.  He got lost in the process.

The third scout said that he couldn't really understand the writing on the clue and told himself that the master must have really meant for me not to reach the destination because he wrote something he couldn't understand, he got disheartened and went back to the camp site.

The fourth and the fifth scout said that they got hurt by the thorns on the bushes as they try to get past through them.  They couldn't bear the pain so they decided to go back.

The sixth and the seventh scout got lost in the trails when they saw a man who told them that he can get them past through the trails if they give them their maps.  They trusted the man, thinking that he was sent by the master to help them and gave them their maps, but the man ran away and left them in the woods.

The eighth and ninth scout said that they decided to stop their journey because the trail was becoming more difficult each passing step.  They said that the trails were so dangerous that the map said jump over the cliff, they didn't trust the master enough to jump over because they thought that the cliff will bring them to their death.

After hearing the nine scouts, the master asked the tenth scout to tell how was he able to find the destination. The scout said, "Master, your map was so tricky and difficult to understand.  There was a spot where I couldn't find the clue so I told myself, the master wouldn't get me lost, so I decided to dig and found the clue.  There was a spot where the clue was nonsense, it took me a long time to think when I realised it was written upside down.  Then there was a spot where the trail was so dangerous that I thought that I can die, but as I read through the clue you wrote, it says TRUST me and I did.  So i jump over only to find out that the cliff was just knee deep.  Then there was a trail where it was so hard to get past through because of the thorns on the bushes, I almost gave up because the thorns stung as they pieced through my skin, but I said I won't give up and continued until at last I got past through the stinging bushes.

I also met the man who told me that he can get me past through the trails if I give him my map.  I looked at the map and saw that I was still a long way before I reach the destination and that I really like to win the prize of being able to see the most beautiful camp site ever.  I almost gave in to his offer but I told the man that I won't be worthy of the prize if I accept his help so I told him that I won't accept his offer and went on.

Then I realised that the trails were leading to your house because I remembered your story that when you were young, your father made you a map from the camp trip back to your house.  I realised that the trails may be similar to the map your father gave you before, so I persevered and told myself that you found your way back and finished the trail by yourself so I can as well.

The master was very pleased to the last scout and brought him to the most beautiful camp site ever while the others watch in regret.

The mother I will never be

I must admit, I am one of the few whose not close with their moms.  I grew up with my dad, and with my siblings, and with other people.  I was actually a product of "look after her for now coz I'm busy" scenario.

People say like mother like daughter... Not even close between me and my mom.  Though we almost have the same date of birth and we have the same birthmark at the same place of our bodies; we are opposite in so many ways.

I will not say, I am not thankful to her.  I do!  I know I owe her a lot of things including my exsistence in this world.  In fact, I am so thankful to her that I know what kind of mother will I be when I become a mother.

She worked overseas, a beautician so to speak.  So whenever she is home or should I say whenever she is in the country, she would spend most of her time going out with her friends, whoever they are.  She'd go out while I was still sleeping and come home when I'm already asleep.  I never really felt that she is "home".

That is why, whenever I am 'home'.  I make sure that I will stay at home for my kids.  As much as I can, I will stay at home with them so that they will not feel what I felt when my mom was the one working overseas.  I want them to feel my presence all the time.  So, I thank her for showing me that I should stay home whenever I am on vacation.

She was very stubborn.  She smoked and eat all the food that she is not supposed to eat.  She usually say "I'd rather die doing what I want than not doing anything at all" or "In heaven there is no cigarette." Because of that, she had aneurysm and is now half paralysed.

So I thank her for showing me the value of clean living, for teaching me to be disciplined and to take everything in moderation.  I thank her that I know the danger of smoking and being stubborn about food and for living a worldly life.

She taught me not to ask for anything but to work hard when you want something.

I was grade 6 at that time, and she was 'home'.  I was about to go to school when I reminded her that I need Php 15.00 for my project.  She got angry for a reason I do not know and throw her half giant clam ash tray at me.  I was shocked!  It hit me on my left leg and came to school with a bleeding leg and an injured heart.  Right then, I told myself, I will never ask something when I need something.  Because of that incident, I learned to be independent.

So I thank her for teaching me to be independent and to provide well for my kids.  I told myself that when I am a mother, I will give everything that my kids need at school.  I will make sure that they will not go to school with a crushed heart because their mother got angry for asking money for a project.

I once had a 'barbie doll'... She got me one when she sent a package.  I was so happy because during that time, barbie doll was so popular.  I was the only one in the neighborhood who had one.  She came home and her godchild visited her, saw me playing with my doll and told her... "Ninang, I also want a barbie doll."  Her next action broke me into pieces:  She approached me and said, give your barbie doll to her, I'd just buy you a new one.  I obeyed, but I cried because I know that new barbie doll wouldn't come... and I was right.

I knew at that time that when I'm a mother, I will not do that to my kids.  I will not give to others what has been given to them.  I will not give them false hopes that they are special, for they will be the most special people in the world for me.  I will not crush their hearts just to prove something to  others.

She has a favorite child.  I know, because I an not that one.  Her favorite always has her best:  best attention, best gifts all the best of everything.  She never let her favorite child experience difficulties, she did everything and gave everything to her favorite child on the expense of others.  She never cared whether her least favorite child would suffer and experience hardships, all she cared for is that she must give everything her favorite child's needs.

Because of that, I learned not to favor one from the other.  I will remain impartial unless I prove one correct. I will teach my kids how to work hard on their own, to finish school so they'd not depend on the other for their personal needs.  I will never make the other have anything she wants on the expense of her other sister.

In every situation, our GOD favors us us.  They give us exactly what we need, even if we think that our moms are way too awful. They may not be the kind of mothers we want to have in our lives, but the fact that GOD gave them to us, means that there is something in her that we can learn from.  It will just be up to us whether we will take it as an inspiration to make our lives better in the future or a desperation to think for all eternity that we are not loved, that our lives are doomed.

I now know that GOD indeed love me so much that HE gave me my mother to learn everything that I need to learn to become the mother that I want to be.  The kind of mother that my kids will look up to, that my students would get inspiration from.

I will not say that she never taught me anything right.  In fact, she taught me everything that I need to know by being the kind of mother that I will never be.

If I...

I've heard about a lot peoples' first impressions of me.  Some were too bold and honest to say that they have a really bad first impression about who they think I am.  I do not feel offended for what they think I am as a person nor I feel urged to explain why I am like "that" in their eyes.  But sometimes those bad impressions influence other's thoughts of me without even knowing who I am and why I am like that.

They said I talk too loud.  They think that I would like to be the center of attention.

If I talk too loud it is not because I want everyone's eyes to lay upon me.  If I talk too loud it is only because I do not want to hear the sad thoughts ringing in my ears.  The harsh words that I heard from people who have hurt me in the past that keeps on buzzing my ears.  So if you hear me talking too loud, it is just because the thoughts were creeping my ears again and that I'd rather want to hear my nonsense voice rather than to hear the hurtful words.

They said I laugh too hard even at small things.  They think that I am silly.

If I laugh too hard, it is not because I'm silly.  If I laugh too hard, it is just because I'm having a heavy heart and a painful chest from all the troubles that I had and continue to have and that I just want to laugh them away...  If I laugh too hard, it is because it is easier to hide the pains by being silly laughing even at small things.  Laughter is the best medicine anyways, so i'd rather force myself to laugh than to spend my days crying.

They said I'm so moody.  They think I'm mean.

If at one time, you'll see me too quiet and not talking to anyone, it is not because I'm a mean person.  It is only because Im having my hormonal imbalance and that I'd rather not look nor talk to anyone than to hurt them by my aggigated behavior at the moment.  All women experience mid-life crisis, so If I am not talking and mingling with any one, it is just because I'm battling over my hormones and that I'll talk when my hormones are back to normal.

They said I'm so arrogant that I need to announce that my work is done.

If I blurt out my happiness because I finished one task among the tons of tasks given to me, I am not being arrogant.  If I am announcing the completion of my task, it is just because I want to appreciate and recognize myself for my job well done because no body does.  It is my own way to tell myself that "OK, one job done, now move on to the next, do not PROCASTINATE."

They said I'm so overwhelming, they think I'm a know-it-all kind of person.

If I am everywhere in the school, it is not because I want people to be overwhelmed by my presence or I want people to think I know everything.  If you see me all over the school, it is only because I love my work.  I love to give all that I can for the school and the students and that their happiness is my happiness.  If I try to make students happy by doing things for them, it is not because I am adding work for people, it is only because I want the students to be happy while they are in school.

They said I talk too much with men.  They think I'm a flirt.

If I talk too much with men it doesn't mean I'm flirting with them or I want them for myself.  If you see me talking to men a lot, it is only because men are not as hypocrite as women.  They tell me straight what I need to hear and not what I want to hear.  If you see me talk to men, it is only because I miss my dad whom I love so much, or I want to feel a brotherly love that I never felt from my own brother or I want to prove to myself that there are still men who are very faithful to their wives/girlfriends by listening to how they love them so much and that hopefully someday, I'd be able to find someone like them.

I will not apologize to anyone If I am being loud, silly, moody and arrogant.  It is how I survive all these years without bugging anyone to listen to my sad life.  It is how I cope with my troubles ALONE.  

And I'd rather be loud, silly, moody and arrogant than to disturb people to help me cope with the difficulties that I am facing.

What makes a good leader?

Leadership, Teamwork and Service:  Three words that are often associated to leaders.  Three words that could either burden an institution or build a nation.

According to Max DePree, author of famous books about leadership,  “The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between the two, the leader must become a servant and a debtor.”

Leaders must accept and embrace their role not to be burdened by the responsibility of the position handed to them but to be a source of inspiration and guide to their fellowmen.

Yes, it is true that being a leader is not an easy thing to do.  But what makes it difficult is not the fact that the task is agonizingly difficult, but because the acceptance of role is not present.  They said that leaders do not inflict pain, leaders bear the pain.  Enticing as it may seem, being a leader of this school, the position that you hold now entails grave responsibilities which only brave souls like you would dare tackle head on.  But bearing all these challenges will prepare you not only to be good leaders now and onwards but also prepare you to nurture future leaders.

While many of the students say lots of reverberating No, I can’t, I don’t want to or why do I have to?  A single YES of a leader like you will inspire more yeses.  Isn’t it wonderful when the entire student body replies with a purposeful YES because their leader shows them that even an ORDINARY person like them can make things happen? 

Leadership is not about distinction, social class or power.  According to the Evangelist Luke, a leader is the one who serves (Lk. 22:24-30).  Leadership is a concept of owing certain things to the institution. It is a way of thinking about institutional heirs, a way of thinking about stewardship as contrasted with ownership.  The art of leadership requires us to think about the leader-as-steward of his institution or community and not as the owner of his society.

Leaders should leave behind them assets and a legacy. They must deliver to their organizations the appropriate services, products, tools, and equipment that people in the organization need in order to be accountable.  As a prefect you are the artful leaders of this school.

What are artful leaders responsible for? Surely you need to include people. People are the heart and spirit of all that counts. Without people, there is no need for leaders. Leaders can decide to be primarily concerned with leaving assets to their institutional heirs or they can go beyond that and capitalize on the opportunity to leave a legacy, a legacy that takes into account the more difficult, qualitative side of life, one which provides greater meaning, more challenge, and more joy in the lives of those whom leaders enable.

In a day when so much energy seems to be spent on maintenance and manuals, on bureaucracy and meaningless quantification, to be a leader is to enjoy the special privileges of complexity, of ambiguity, of diversity. But to be a leader means, especially, having the opportunity to make a meaningful difference in the lives of those who permit leaders to lead. 

Prefects and Student Council officers of Bina Bangsa School:  BE proud for you are called to serve, to lead and to connect each other in a bond that would one day be part of the human legacy.